| Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 08:11 am red like the sun at 5:00 |
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Current Mood:  artistic
Current Music: only the fan, blowing hot air around
so i died my hair red. well no, its actually purple. or it was for about a week. now it's kind of cranberry colored. it was supposed to wash out, but that's not going to happen for a while. i'm glad though. i like to be noticed, i like sticking out like a red tomato on a vine of green ones. its nice having people pay attention, you know? i was reading a college book last night, and it got me thinking, about my future. what am i going to do with myself. i strive to please, sometimes. not like i show off, but i guess people call me the good one. or at least thats what i've heard people say. in the past i've felt like shrinking away. now i guess i want to live life to the fullest. my new motto. i never really had a motto before, not like this. when i'm alone my thoughts go wild! my head starts to buzz, and i go into a poetic state. i've never been thought of as a poet. that person who makes everything rhyme, and adds twist to their language. i tried to write a poem yesterday, in class. i failed. i'm not one to give up, but i felt overly pushed. i can't write under pressure, but who can? i guess. i love my wednesday class. i can argue against the teacher, and applauded for it. i've been told i should go to law school, become a fancy lawyer. thats not my path, its never been my path. not now not ever. i write, and writing is my path, even if it takes me fifteen jobs or so. freelance i could do. novels, maybe. cubicles? no, not me. i've gone with my dad. sat in the office, and thoroughlyhated it. i feel squirmy like a snake, or worm writhing in the hot sun. maybe i could curate, i could do that. i enjoy working with people, and art. i mean i already have done some of that. last year, maybe this. who knows really. but of course i'll aim to please, someone. i think i'll go think about this and my future, elsewhere. |